Valentine's Day traces its roots back to both Christian and ancient Roman traditions. The holiday is named after Saint Valentine, a priest who, according to legend, defied Emperor Claudius II's ban on marriage and secretly wed couples in the third century. This act of compassion led to his martyrdom on February 14. Over time, the day became associated with romantic love, especially as it merged with the Roman festival of Lupercalia, which celebrated fertility and the coming of spring. By the Middle Ages, Valentine’s Day had evolved into an occasion for expressing affection and exchanging love notes, a tradition that continues today.
The ancient Greeks described love in several nuanced ways, using different words to capture its various forms. For example, "agápe" (ἀγάπη) refers to selfless, unconditional love; "éros" (ἔρως) signifies passionate or romantic love; "philía" (φιλία) denotes deep friendship or affectionate regard; and "storgē" (στοργή) represents familial love or the bond between parents and children. These distinctions highlight how love can be experienced and expressed in diverse relationships and circumstances.
Perhaps, the most famous interchange of these words was found in The gospel of John 21:15-17 between Jesus and Peter.
So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these [Agape; others do—with total commitment and devotion]?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You [Phileo; with a deep, personal affection, as for a close friend].” Jesus said to him, “Feed My lambs.” 16 Again He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me [Agape; with total commitment and devotion]?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You [Phileo; with a deep, personal affection, as for a close friend].” Jesus said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me [Phileo; with a deep, personal affection for Me, as for a close friend]?” Peter was grieved that He asked him the third time, “Do you [really] love Me [with a deep, personal affection, as for a close friend]?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know everything; You know that I love You [Philéo; with a deep, personal affection, as for a close friend].” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.
The Lord desires to bring us from a friendship into a deep intimate walk with Him. It is only in that place of total commitment that He can truly do the work of refining that He desires. The Apostle John known as “John the beloved” knew this true commitment perhaps more than any other of the disciples. After the rest of the disciples fled from Jesus after His arrest in the garden, John followed the Lord closely and was with Jesus every step of the way including being at the cross-witnessing Jesus’ crucifixion.
The deep love that Jesus desires from us only comes after a deep refining and burning of the flesh. It is sourced in God Himself. The Apostle John understood this as he wrote in his epistle, 1 John 4:19
We love, because He first loved us.
The Greek word used in both places is the word, Agape. Because He loved us with total commitment and devotion, we can love in the same way.
Not just love Him but also love one another. John 13:34-35
I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.”
Again, the word “Agape” is used in this passage. How can the church, as broken as we are truly love one other?
The Apostle Paul gives us the answer in Ephesians 4:31-32
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]. 32 Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.
The key to loving one another is more than just giving each other cards of affection on one day of a year.
God desires us to walk in commitment to one another by walking in continual grace and forgiveness. That’s how agape love is communicated. I end this blog with the most familiar passage on love, 1 Corinthians 13. When perfect love is accomplished, gifts and manifestations of the Spirit won’t even be needed. Oh Lord Jesus help us.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.